this looks like a job for... tomorrow!

RMS mistakes and malattribution

Given the recent environment of reflection on past statements made, I have looked at my past to see if there are things I have said that might not be verifiably true.

I have said multiple times in the past that Richard Stallman was actually Weird Al Yankovic with a costume beard. I had heard this through various sources, but there is no published source that confirms this, and I now believe I may have accidentally completely made that up and passed it off as fact.

I have no way to verify that Stallman is not Yankovic, but there is no basis to claim he is. I apologize to Mr. Stallman, and, should he be a separate person, Mr. Yankovic.



While Mr. Yankovic may not actually be RMS, he does a have a history of Stallman-esque leanings, as exhibited by the original titles of his hit songs before the record labels changed them:

- It's All About the GNU/Pentiums
- Living in an Amish Paradise (To Escape the Evil, Proprietary Monopoly that is Microsoft)

So I don't withdraw my claim that RMS and Weird Al might be the same person. But I do withdraw my claim that RMS and Weird Al are the same person.

Planning for Spontaneity

I have recently felt like my popularity is waning a bit, people just aren't talking about me enough. Fortunately, current events have given me an idea. At this year's PDC, if I go, I will yell something horribly distasteful during the keynote, and then immediately apologize like I never meant for it to happen.

What this means to you dear reader is that we only have roughly two months to come up with what I should spontaneously yell with no forethought whatsoever. I'll start the ball rolling with a few:

- "Clippy is racist."
- "Windows ME was the best version of Windows ever."
- "You lie", in response to the cloud being the future.
- "Steve Jobs is a handsome man."
- "That guy was lucky Ballmer only threw a chair at him."
- "Anders Hejlsberg is a no-talent hack."
- "I'm really happy for you Windows 7, I'm gonna let you finish, but Vista SP1 had one of the best videos of all time."
- "Hitler used Windows."
- "Google apps are an adequate replacement for desktop apps."
- "I swear to God I'm [expletive] going to take this [expletive] Zune HD and shove it down your [expletive] throat, you hear that? I swear to God."

Feel free to leave your suggestions in the comments, and let's make this a PDC to remember! (for being about me!)

[Reporters and podcasters, feel free to begin booking me now for my heartfelt apology!]

My Name is Jonathan And I'm a Geekaholic

Today when I visited Stack Overflow, I was excited to see I had unknowingly earned a gold badge:



Unfortunately, that excitement quickly turned to despair when I saw what it was for:



At this point, there are two things that go through one's head:

1) I should show this to my girlfriend.
2) Perhaps if I did not have said badge, I might have said girlfriend.