this looks like a job for... tomorrow!

Planning for Spontaneity

I have recently felt like my popularity is waning a bit, people just aren't talking about me enough. Fortunately, current events have given me an idea. At this year's PDC, if I go, I will yell something horribly distasteful during the keynote, and then immediately apologize like I never meant for it to happen.

What this means to you dear reader is that we only have roughly two months to come up with what I should spontaneously yell with no forethought whatsoever. I'll start the ball rolling with a few:

- "Clippy is racist."
- "Windows ME was the best version of Windows ever."
- "You lie", in response to the cloud being the future.
- "Steve Jobs is a handsome man."
- "That guy was lucky Ballmer only threw a chair at him."
- "Anders Hejlsberg is a no-talent hack."
- "I'm really happy for you Windows 7, I'm gonna let you finish, but Vista SP1 had one of the best videos of all time."
- "Hitler used Windows."
- "Google apps are an adequate replacement for desktop apps."
- "I swear to God I'm [expletive] going to take this [expletive] Zune HD and shove it down your [expletive] throat, you hear that? I swear to God."

Feel free to leave your suggestions in the comments, and let's make this a PDC to remember! (for being about me!)

[Reporters and podcasters, feel free to begin booking me now for my heartfelt apology!]

6 comments:

shamaz said...

build once, run everywhere !

Edulix said...

Ballmer uses Linux at home, her wife has mac and their children got ipods for christmas!

John Ludlow said...

"What's coming after Snow Leopard?"

Jonathan said...

I'm a PC!!!

sarajchipps said...

I am very excited about this and the erupting chaos.

How about "Hitler invented server controls!"

or

"start printing your Guids backwards, they don't want you to know!"

Temp Variable said...

PDC is way better than the AVN awards!