I have recently felt like my popularity is waning a bit, people just aren't talking about me enough. Fortunately, current events have given me an idea. At this year's PDC, if I go, I will yell something horribly distasteful during the keynote, and then immediately apologize like I never meant for it to happen.
What this means to you dear reader is that we only have roughly two months to come up with what I should spontaneously yell with no forethought whatsoever. I'll start the ball rolling with a few:
- "Clippy is racist."
- "Windows ME was the best version of Windows ever."
- "You lie", in response to the cloud being the future.
- "Steve Jobs is a handsome man."
- "That guy was lucky Ballmer only threw a chair at him."
- "Anders Hejlsberg is a no-talent hack."
- "I'm really happy for you Windows 7, I'm gonna let you finish, but Vista SP1 had one of the best videos of all time."
- "Hitler used Windows."
- "Google apps are an adequate replacement for desktop apps."
- "I swear to God I'm [expletive] going to take this [expletive] Zune HD and shove it down your [expletive] throat, you hear that? I swear to God."
Feel free to leave your suggestions in the comments, and let's make this a PDC to remember! (for being about me!)
[Reporters and podcasters, feel free to begin booking me now for my heartfelt apology!]